How to have sex with the same person for the rest of your life + TED video
In the first of Guardian Family’s ‘How to …’ series, we look at ways to keep things exciting in the bedroom (or at your partner’s place of work) – Saturday 16 April 201606.29 BST – The Guardian
1 Accept that having sex with the same person for the rest of your life – unless it’s yourself (see later) – is hard and, at times, boring. But not impossible. The problem – actually, there are several and also lots of contradictions – is that the received wisdom has always been to spend more time with your partner to build something called “intimacy”, which will lead to The Sex. Actually, this may be wrong.
2 Spending too much time with your partner may be the problem. Do romantic weekends make you feel really unromantic and panicked? Seeing someone all the time is not sexy after the first few months. It leads to something called habituation, which must be avoided at all costs if you want to continue having sex with your partner. Habituation is when you stop really seeing someone/thing because you see them all the time, ie taking someone for granted, which leads to hating their guts. In one survey, a common answer to the question “When do you feel most attracted to your partner?” was “When they weren’t there.” This is because anticipation is a powerful aphrodisiac and distance lets erotic imagination back in, which leads to fantasy. Unfortunately, it’s often cruelly crushed when your partner comes back into view. [Read more]
Comments
An interesting article. It did not deal with the philosophical question as to whether the biological intention behind the creation of man was for him to have sex with one or multiple partners.
In the Judaic/Christian world David had many concubines yet they say he was at the right hand of God. Did Christianity or any other religion condemn having multiple wives.
Speaking from a male standpoint biology seem to support the desire for man to have sex with many women. He was made with millions of sperms that could impregnate perhaps dozens of women. Why the western societal constraints for a man to have one woman.
“Why the western societal constraints for a man to have one woman?” – It is the white man who rules the world – he wrote the holy books, the rules of the road – whether you drive on the left-side or right-side of the road, the constitutions of countries, the laws, established the frontiers …. and so on:
It is a case of do as I say, NOT do as I do …!! – just another law for us to obey!!!