Advice to Diaspora returning for the Jubilee Year Celebrations – By Francis Quamina Farrier

To those in the Diaspora returning for the Jubilee Year Celebrations

By Francis Quamina Farrier

This is the steering wheel of a Guyana mini bus. Please observe the two LARGE indents on the horn caused by continuous honking.

My Fellow Guyanese: If you are one of the hundreds of overseas-based Guyanese, who is returning for the Jubilee Celebrations around May 10 to 30, 2016, then I say a big “WELCOME”, and wish you a great stay. However, I feel duty bound to give you a few tips, if you have not visited the Land of your birth in fifteen, twenty, thirty, or more years. Some of these tips may have already been given to you by concerned relatives and friends.

The very first thing that I will let you know, is that the country has changed; in the same way that almost all other countries around the world, have changed, during the past fifteen to thirty years. But not only has Guyana changed with many of the physical infrastructure; the People, by-and-large, have also changed; and not necessarily for the better. 

Yes, there are many good, even saintly people in our Dear Land of Guyana; but there are also just too many good-fo’nuttin’ rascals, who are planning some evil deeds, even as you read this. It’s poor consolation that the same things are probably happening just a few miles up the road from where you are right now, as you read this missive of mine.

Now, let me repeat, there are still many good, kind-hearted and even saintly Guyanese here in Guyana. These folks still hold the human values, which were part of what life and living in Guyana was in the years of our pre- and early independence. Warm words such as “Welcome”, “Please”, “Thanks” and “Excuse me”, are still very much in vogue for them. Words which are as perennial as the grass.

Yes, you read daily in the News Media, of all the murders, suicides, bandit attacks, fatal traffic crashes, the corruption in high places, and all the many devil’s work, on a daily basis. Unfortunately, you hardly ever get any the many “Feel Good” stories, which happen on a minute-to-minute basis, even as you read this; the kind people who give a ‘lil small piece’ to a beggar in need; the people who drop a ‘lil package of food’ for the street dweller; the dedicated workers who go the extra mile in their daily duties. Those Bosses who treat their staffers kindly and with respect. No, that hardly ever gets into the News Media. Even that Christopher Stephenson story; the Hero of Tiger Bay young man who saved the lives of two GWI Workers, and lost his own life in the process.

There are probably those who are discouraging you from visiting Guyana for the Jubilee Celebrations, but you have already made up your mind to come. You have already booked your Flight and paid for your hotel room. So, there’s no turning back; you WILL be in Guyana for the Jubilee Year Celebrations. So let me inform you. Most Guyanese are still very hospitable, and love to make visitors feel wanted and appreciated. Sadly, though, you will not find that kind of person everywhere you go in our Magnificent Provence, during your Jubilee Year visit.

There are many rascals roaming around, and you are likely to meet a few of them; hopefully, not in a way in which you become a victim. You will also need to know that there are hardly any electricity black-outs these days. I have to let you know, too, that you won’t be cut off from the outside world when you are here in Guyana. There are many Internet Cafes where you can make overseas phone calls for a very small charge. You can also use the internet to e-mail material to anywhere in the world. If you would prefer your own local cell phone, then, No Problem. They are relatively easy to have, and not too costly.

As you move around the country, you will meet some very strange characters, who will want to know what you have brought for them. It’s an annoying Guyanese sub-culture. That character could be a relative, someone who claims that they have been to school with you, or even a total stranger. “Soh, is woh yoh bring fo’ meh?”, would be the direct and annoying question. Your response could be, “Lots of good-will, my dear. Lots of good-will.” Then move on. But if you can’t get away from the blood-sucker, try and change the subject. Tell them how “life is so hard in Foreign.” Tell them how the hurricane, or the earthquake, or the snow storm or the tornado, or the IRS have drained all your financial resources. Tell them that to come down to Guyana for the Jubilee, you had to rob a Bank; and all that you were able to get from that lousy bank during the robbery, was just enough to pay the air fare and the hotel charges down here. Then stamp your foot, and say in disgust, “Damn! I choose the wrong so-and-so Bank!” So, be prepared for that kind of character while you are here in Guyana.

However, you will most certainly meet with those hospitable Guyanese, who will want to know what they can do to make your visit as pleasant as possible. They would readily give you sound advice on how to remain safe, and enjoy your visit. And they won’t want a penny for their service. It will all be Free and Gratis. No strings attached. After all, you will be back in your original Homeland. GT Paradise! While here, go right ahead and sing some of those old time Patriotic Songs which you sang in school so many years ago; “Born in the Land of the Mighty Roraima.” Show off your Patriotism, even if your singing voice is like a stone-crusher rolling down a pot-holed brick street. It will be the appropriate time. Sing as if no one is listening. It’s JUBILEE YEAR!

Now, I have to advise you; please avoid flashing valuables. Do all your financial transactions as privately as possible. If you have to use a taxi, PLEASE DO NOT pay with the mighty Canadian or US dollar. PLEASE! Go to a Bank and buy LOCAL currency. You will delight, I am sure, to have denominations of $100, $500, $1,000 and even $5,000 to hold in your hands. Even rub on your face, if you so desire. By-the-way, the name of the $5,000 bill is, “Granger”. If you have to use a taxi, ensure that your Taxi Driver comes highly recommended and is a trusted Taxi operator. You might want to use the same taxi all the time while you are here. When you leave a Bank, ensure that you are not being followed; Please DO NOT speak loudly with a foreign accent while out in Public; Ow, man talk like wan Guyanese fo’ a change, nuh! That would be part of your Security Apparatus. This does not mean that you should be paranoid and be afraid to move around, as you enjoy your visit.

While in Guyana, expect to hear vehicles honking their horns constantly, even when there is no need to honk. As a-matter-of-fact, you must also expect to hear lots of cursing in public places. If you value your hearing, you might want to bring along ear plugs, for the honking of vehicle horns, the BOOM-BOOM boxes all around, as well as the ear-smashing Public Address Systems, almost everywhere you go – even at certain churches. In Guyana today, some people use PA systems even when addressing an audience of just six persons in a six-by-six size room. Of course you will have the opportunity to enjoy fresh coconut water, with steel-drops if you so desire. You must also ‘lash-up’ our fresh fruits. Go for the glut while here.

High pile of sand on Middle Street pavement in Georgetown. Home of Chancellor Carl Singh is in the background.

While moving around, you will encounter some open sections on pavements. Be careful. You will also find building materials such as sand and bricks piled up on pavements. Be careful. And another thing; never feel that there are ONE WAY Streets in Georgetown. Some One Way Streets have no signs, and also some motorists deliberately race up the wrong way on One-Way streets – especially motor cyclists. So be very careful. Look right. Look left. Look right. Look left. If you see no vehicle, then cross as quickly as possible. At night, wear white. There will be lots and lots of speeding pedal cyclists WITHOUT lights.

In the event of having to go to a government or quasi-government office to do business, please go with lots of patience and the expectation that you will not get the best of professional service – especially if you use your foreign accent. Ow, man, talk like wan Guyanese, nuh! At the gate of the Ministry or wherever, the Guard may likely ask you “What is it you want to see Mr This or Ms That for?” That, really, is none of his or her business. Please let the Guard know in as polite a tone as you could muster under the circumstance, that he or she is overstepping his or her authority. You will, of course, be cooperative and submit to a Security Check if requested. That IS the duty of the Security personnel; to ensure that no one proceeds further into the compound with any dangerous object.

At the Secretary’s desk, you may be told of the person who you want to see, that “He or she is at a meeting”, and hardly anything else. If you press for more information, some Secretaries may likely become annoyed and treat you with disrespect. Some secretaries sometimes busy themselves with other activities while attending to you, such as chewing gum, or on the cell phone. Now, let me add immediately, that this will not happen in every case. There are some really professional Secretaries to be found at some of the Government Ministries and Departments. They will treat you with courtesy and professionalism, even beaming that hospitable smile for which Guyanese are well-known world-wide.

While in Guyana, especially in Georgetown, you will observe quite a number of four, five, six and seven story concrete buildings. The design of some of them will make you want to weep. The colour of some of them may cause you to become sick, if you gaze at them for a long time. You will also notice that many of these buildings are, for the better part, unoccupied. Please do not ask why. Do expect little as well as big boys to refer to you as “Uncle”, Big man” and “Ole Man” if you are male and sixty years and older. And if you are female and of a certain age, you will be addressed as “Auntie”, “Moms”,”Muds”, “Grannie” or “Ole Girl.” Generally, no offence is intended; except when the tone of voice so indicates. Whatever you may or may not experience, remember that you are in the Land of your Birth, and please, please avoid as best you could, to engage in any heated arguments about the disappointments which you may experience.

Avoid, if you can, any heavy conversation about politics; that is like ‘sucksand’; you will get deeper and deeper and consumed. Many heated arguments do not end up with the the two sides hugging each other and going off and having a ‘tups’ of XM or El Dorado Gold. Just too many arguments end up being deadly. So be wise. Be willing to walk away whenever an argument is getting hot. You will be back in Guyana; the Guyana of the Twenty First Century; the Guyana Celebrating its 50th Independence Anniversary Jubilee Year. WELCOME back to Our Beautiful Guyana; the Land of Many Waters. See you soon.

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