Parental anger grows as ‘Children are bored out of their skulls with real life’- commentary

Why parents are getting angrier: ‘Children are bored out of their skulls with real life’

By Nicola Skinner – The Guardian UK

mike-fisher

Mike Fisher

Mike Fisher shows parents how to deal with their rage. He’s busier than ever – partly because children would rather be on social media or gaming

It’s hard to know the difference between parenting and bullying,” admits Matt, father of two and one of a growing number of parents seeking help to control what they see as unacceptable levels of anger towards their children. Matt is an articulate and successful self-employed businessman in his 40s. After he split up from their mother five years ago, his two sons, then 11 and 14, started to act up by answering back, skipping homework, drinking and taking drugs. It marked the start of a phase of intense anger for Matt, who eventually sought help.     

“I have on a few occasions grabbed my eldest son by the scruff of his neck and shouted in his face. I couldn’t understand why they don’t do what I want them to do. Even now they make me question my skills as a parent.”

He’s not alone.
Over two decades, Mike Fisher has seen first-hand the effect of anger on children and their parents. Since setting up the British Association of Anger Management in 1999, he has worked with tens of thousands of people, helping them to manage and understand their anger. For the past 13 years he has also delivered one-day workshops specifically aimed at parental anger, for Ealing council in west London. The course is always heavily oversubscribed. …..[Read more]

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  • NDTewarie  On September 25, 2016 at 12:59 pm

    As they say back home, me too. We may not agree with everything the British has done, but their system was the best at that time, we had none, we were a struggling backward colonial country and Surprise! we still are.
    I became a teacher, taught under the great Cedric Vernon Nunes, brushed shoulders with the likes of JR Chinapen, Butchey, Fields, and John Ramlall and many more decent teachers like Jack Narayan, H E Cumberbatch, Wharton, Mohamed Hamaludin, Riley and George Bulkan and headmasters James Sukhu and Somwaru. I think we should thank the British for the legacy we had. Compared with others we stood out abroad. Today you can find a Guyanese in a top position in most companies, firms and plants, especially in Canada and the USA. It was due to our English which was our first language and we learnt it well. We have produced a great number of stalwart writers in prose and poetry. lawyers and doctors and entrepreneurs.
    The chief reason for the failure of the present Education system in Guyana is that there are very few good teachers, for most of them have left (brain drain) Guyana during the disturbances fostered by the 2 party system. The teachers today can barely make ends meet so there is no loyalty to schools and kids.
    In my days as a teacher we had discipline, today the kids carry knives and even guns to schools. They say “Spare the rod and spoil the Child,” but I say:

    SPARE THE ROD AND FAIL THE CHILD

    When I was growing up
    Although maybe I hadn’t enough love
    I think I grew up straight
    Studied and prayed to the one above
    And I turned out ok, mate

    When I was growing up
    There was a real community spirit
    You could be thrashed by your elders
    If you swear or misbehave you get it
    And you respect all your teachers

    And as l was grew up
    After hours I did not stray
    I had to be at home at a certain time
    And my parents had the say
    For my upbringing, prose and rhyme

    As a student I had home-work
    And it was done every night
    Not for the teacher or class
    But because it was alright
    And all my exams I did pass

    At home if I did wrong
    I was punished, not brutally
    All because of the cause
    But I knew my place respectfully
    I had to obey all the laws

    At school it was the same
    The rod or cane was always there
    To keep you in line for what you did
    The rod was not spared but feared
    And everything worked out splendid

    Today kids are spared of the rod
    There are so many regulations and rules
    And what we have, drugs, condoms, guns
    Violence and sex amidst all schedules
    An atmosphere I don’t want for my sons

    I became a better citizen
    l respect other people’s property
    I know the integral pride of worth
    Developed morals, ethics and decency
    For hard work, and I don’t feel hurt.

    We have/had two of the best learning institutions in the Caribbean, Queen’s College and Bishops . The graduates from these 2 schools can be found in every part of the world. One such student was a Ms Elaine Vassie who later became a teacher and a famous Headmistress:

    This is a letter written in the London Times on June 9,2000, by one,
    Mrs Elaine Vassie from:
    The Old Manse,
    Lochgilhead, Argyll .
    PA31 8QZ
    England
    She wrote:
    Sir,
    I agree with your reporters Adam Sherwin and Michael Harvey when they describe the products of Guyanese education as some of Britain’s most successful role models.
    As a daughter of the regiment I was dragged around the last outposts of the Empire, eventually fetching up in Georgetown, Guyana. There, and contemporaneously with many of your Guyanese examples such as Bernie Grant and Trevor Phillips, I was sent to Bishop’s High School for Girls sister of Queen’s College.
    I was one of a tiny minority of white students, yet I have no doubt that BHS changed my life. Its ethos was highly academic and its curriculum based on British public schools. But it was the teachers who left the greatest impression. Most were first generation educated, many were Oxbridge graduates. They were women who had few educational advantages in early life. They taught us as though our lives depended upon assimilation of knowledge, as indeed they did. The country was on the verge of Independence and the schools were producing those who would eventually run Guyana.
    On returning to Britain, I became a teacher myself and subsequently a head teacher in both state and independent schools. Now near to retirement I can honestly say I have never come across any school in this country to compare with the Guyanese model.
    Currently many West Indian families are making huge sacrifices to send their children back to the caribbean to be educated. Perhaps our comparative educationists within the university departments of education should look more closely at this rejection of our schools.
    Could it have something to do with Guyana having a literacy rate of 96 per cent?
    Yours faithfully,

    ELAINE VASSIE
    PS, Your feedback is welcomed.

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