By Esther Perel —16,050,503 views – TED2015 | March 2015
Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic: because they threaten our emotional security.
In infidelity, she sees something unexpected — an expression of longing and loss. A must-watch for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships.
DetailsAbout the talk —— Transcript34 languages
Why you should listen
For the first time in human history, couples aren’t having sex just to have kids; there’s room for sustained desire and long-term sexual relationships. But how? Perel, a licensed marriage and family therapist with a practice in New York, travels the world to help people answer this question. For her research she works across cultures and is fluent in nine languages. She coaches, consults and speaks regularly on erotic intelligence, trauma, sexual honesty and conflict resolution. She is the author of Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic. Her latest work focuses on infidelity: what it is, why happy people do it and how couples can recover from it. She aims to locate this very personal experience within a larger cultural context.
Comments
They tell me that when an American woman cheats, she divorces.
They tell me when a French woman cheats, the man joins in on the threesome.
They tell me when a Canadian woman cheats, she hates men so much that the police persecute the man and the Family Courts make him homeless.
They tell me that South-East women will never cheat.
They tell me when an American man cheats, he is Jeffrey Epstein or Harvey Weinstein.
They tell me that French men don’t cheat.
They tell me that Canadian men are afraid of the gender laws to cheat.
They tell me that South-East Asian men cheat and gee bun, but the woman is okay with that.